I join you again, my unemployed brethen.

Well, after just a mere 2 months back in the employment saddle, I was thrown off. Being laid off once sucked. Being laid off again, in such short order, makes me feel so weary and battle-worn. I know it's not personal, being laid off. It's business, and apparently business is a bit bust right now.
What's so especially difficult is that we'd begun to plan things, to save, to work towards our goals. When I was laid off for nearly a year, that kind of stuff, "future stuff" was put on the back burner. It was entirely about how to budget, to scrape by, to handle the next month or two, and anything beyond the ends of our noses was just too much to consider. Having a job again took a lot of pressure off of us, especially Brendan, which made me feel like the kind of partner I want to be for him. I was able to relax into myself again, and able to feel like a real and productive person, a contributing member of my two-person team, instead of feeling like a total looser. 
I am dreading my engagement party in a few weeks now. People will ask how I'm doing, ask about plans, ideas, my life...what will I say? That I'm so stressed out by everything anymore that I barely sleep most nights? That my jaw clicks because I clench it constantly? That I feel powerless in my own life? That I'm afraid of the future or rather, afraid I don't have one?
No, of course not. I will probably be ok by then. I will probably have gotten past some of this and feel able to manage the rest.
I'm probably just feeling sorry for myself. It's not the worst thing in the world. It just really fucking sucks right now.
Excuse me. I'm going to go wallow with my dog now. Her fuzzy belly will heal my broken pride.

One Disaster at a Time

Pictured here is a 30"x30" wall quilt (there's a built in sleeve for hanging on the back) that myself and the other members of my artist collective, The Midwives Collective & Gallery, stitched to raise money for our chosen charity: Midwives for Haiti. Each block was done by a different member (though Christiana did the two of the cat and dog dreaming and I did two, the middle stylized flower and below that, the fish scales). But anyway, it's wonderful to have various styles and visions come together into one piece. Additionally, this quilt is being raffled off into the beginning of July! All the $$$ from the raffle goes to Midwives for Haiti.


Now, I know that since Haiti was leveled by that terrible earthquake about 5 months ago, other horrific disasters have happened: Guatemala's sinkhole, Earthquake in Chile, Floods and Mudslides in Rio De Janeiro, BP's Gulf Oil Spill and we're only 1/2 way through 2010 (and of course, we're not done digging out of the global recession....). It's a bit overwhelming at times, rendering me completely helpless. But doing something like this quilt, as well as doing my own quest against Breast Cancer, makes me feel a bit like I can do something, that something is in my control to, if not completely fix, at least be a part of the solution and sending out something positive. And, wonderfully enough, you too can be a part of that positivity and purchase raffles for this quilt for CHEEEEEEEEEP (and know that you're helping pregnant women and new mothers have healthy babies).

Thanks!

Last time I slept?

I'm not sure when was the last time I got a full night's rest. It's been weeks. 

THIS IS WHY

*I hope to see everyone tomorrow, Friday, June 11th, to celebrate. :)

Silver Seabright Bantam Cock

Silver Seabright Bantam Cock - detail
Originally uploaded by Elizabeth J. Smith

I finally finished the 1st in a series I want to do of roosters based off of the book "The Fairest of the Fowl".

Made a logo and such

This is what I did today (after sending out resumes, setting up three interviews and possibly scoring a job --- BOO-YAH!):

New Post on SquidWhale!

Hey Friends! My collaborator, Sarah L. Hunt, just posted her very first blog post on our SquidWhale blog.  

Check it out!

Thanks!! 

SquidWhale is taking over my life.....

Not that I mind. I mean, I kind of do because I have a back-log of projects, both for my personal work and for SquidWhale, and each day I conjure new projects for both of my creative endeavors. I can see now that my work will never be done. I'm thankful for that though. If I were done with all I wanted to do, I'd be dreadfully bored. Then what? I'd wait around to...I dunno, die? Snoooore.

Sarah has developed these awesome plaid mice. The other pieces are elements from our 4ft. wallpaper design.These images will eventually be printed onto fabrics that will then be used for our product line. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, I don't have much to show you right now (except the above image), but my partner in crime, Sarah, is going to be updating our shared SquidWhale blog soon with details of our thrifting adventure and where our work is thus far in our first collection. The thrifting was our first one together. She's been thrifting her whole life, and I've known Sarah for, oh, about a decade, and this past weekend was the first time she got me thrifting. I think it helps to have a focus on what you're searching for. It also helps that I'm imbibed with a sense of purpose and determination at building my own business. 
Additionally, for the Midwives Members Show in June, all members are doing a quilt block for a small redwork quilt. A couple of us are doing two blocks. This is my second one:

Just a bunch of fish scales.

I'm thinking some of these will be filled in with a satin stitch.

I also have an octopus thing I'm drafting right now for an embroidery project. This project was on hold for a while to work on my dyed silk pieces for my show, LAMINA, which is up at Barefoot Clinic until May 28th. But I'm looking forward to making the octopus. I love doing the research and drawing the imagery and then building that into an embroidery. Sometimes I get frustrated at how time-consuming these things can be, but I remember that it's OK to take my time to do it right, and there will never be enough time to do all that I can think of doing, but it's good that I don't have a lack of ideas to be excited about. And hey, at least I ain't bored. ;)